Having a stable and harmonious life is absolutely essential to your happiness and fulfillment, yet we aren’t necessarily always good at creating this for ourselves.
See, we often see a relationship as a cure for taking care of ourselves - when in truth, you can’t feel truly loved by another until you first love yourself, and a significant component of loving yourself is to create harmony within your life.
The metaphor of the airplane attendants instructing people to take care of their own gas masks first, before helping others, comes to mind - as the first person you need to help in life is yourself. Now, you might have the most altruistic and giving heart, but unless you are taking care of yourself first you will not be in the right place to take care of others.
It might seem reasonable to assume that a state of stability and harmony is the default state for most people, but the reality is that creating a stable life is something that doesn’t happen by default - it’s similar to a recipe, much like baking a cake, in that you need the right ingredients in the right order to get the desired result.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs expands on this and is certainly an interesting topic to look into, but for a few quick pointers on how to ensure you have a more harmonious life, you might first want to read this.
Having a stable sense of home is imperative to feeling harmonious within your life. This doesn’t have to be a fancy property however, it could simply be a room in a shared house, or even a trailer, as long as you feel safe, independent and at peace.
Your home should be your “safe place” where you feel comfortable. It should ideally ground you, and make you feel at home within yourself. The feeling of a home could be described as a feeling of certainty and security; that everything is going to be alright - a shelter from the storm, so to speak.
The well known saying “tidy house tidy mind” is true when it comes to creating stability - if you have a clean, tidy, and well-organized home this has a significant effect on your emotional health and wellbeing.
You don’t need to be rich in order to have harmony in your life.
You do, however, need to have an income. There needs to be a secure and reliable income that comes from a stable source; meaning nobody has influence over your financial stability because when this happens we can feel beholden to others.
A core ingredient in terms of the recipe for harmony is to ensure your financial wellbeing in the sense of having enough income to be comfortable.
3. HEALTH & WELLBEING
Your health is your foundation. A lot of people say you can have all the money in the world but if you don’t have your health, then you can’t be happy.
Indeed, without being in a state of good health, life has a tendency to feel very unstable and unpredictable. The term “prevention is better than cure” is often true when it comes to feeling harmonious - as when you feel you are keeping on top of looking after yourself you tend to feel more positive about the future.
4. PERSONAL CARE
Whether you’re looking for the best-heated eyelash curler or a particular type of makeup, taking care of your personal appearance is vital for one’s emotional health but it’s important not to focus too much on the external. Remember, also, that to take better care of your body you need to focus on the boring basics such as drinking plenty of water and eating healthy food - rather than crash dieting or over-exercising in the gym.
5. YOU TIME
With such busy lives, particularly if you are raising a family, it can be difficult to grab time for yourself.
The analogy of taking a flight was discussed earlier in this article, commenting on how the safety briefing always points out the need to attend to your own mask first before helping anyone else - and this applies to life.
If you’re feeling depleted and exhausted the whole time then you’re not going to be able to feel harmonious within yourself or in your interactions with others. Instead, you might end up feeling grumpy, snappy and irritable. It’s therefore important you take time out for yourself to replenish.
It’s often been said that “no man (or woman) is an island” and when it comes to creating harmony within your life, a supportive network of caring friends is fundamental to this.
However, it’s ironic that sometimes it can be the people in our life that cause us to feel disharmony. It’s therefore important to consider your relationships carefully and work out whether each relationship in your life adds to your sense of harmony and which detract from it.
7. MINDSET & EMOTIONS
The thoughts you think to create the feelings you feel, and at times, it can feel like you aren’t in control of your emotions... but ultimately you always have control over where you focus your attention, and as the popular metaphysical saying states “where attention goes energy flows”.
This means that if you have a positive focus then you will tend to attract more positive things; whereas if you have a negative focus then you will attract negative things. Meditation, and in particular mindfulness are great tools to help calm and balance the mind in order to bring more harmony into your life.
8. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
In a society where most people seem to be suffering from an emotional epidemic of low self-esteem, low self-worth, and low self-confidence; more self-love would appear to be the solution, yet this isn’t always as easy as it sounds.
Here are three quick tips on loving yourself...
8A. STOP TRYING TO FILL THE VOID
We’re often guilty of distracting ourselves from time to time, but this level of distraction can become unhealthy, as it’s very easy to find ourselves chasing after things, or people, in order to fill the emotional void within.
The best way to fill that void is to simply accept it, honour the feelings you have around whatever you’re emotionally running away from, and then look for nourishing ways to flesh out your life rather than being dependent on a relationship or a particular aspect of your life (e.g. work or business) to prop yourself up in emotional terms.
8B.. STOP DOING THAT WHICH HURTS YOU
Just like how your daily activities, such as sitting for long periods in an office chair can cause back pain, there are daily activities you engage in on an emotional level that cause emotional pain. You want to try to avoid these activities or at least find ways to negate the damage they cause so that things are more in balance… just like how you might have to sit in an office chair all day, but you can then go and do yoga to remedy some of the resultant pain.
8C. GET RID OF NEGATIVE PEOPLE
Having to deal with toxic, negative and depleting people tends to be a natural part of life, but it’s important to be mindful of the scientific research that now proves the negative energy from others will rub off and stay with you like a virus.
You’ve therefore got to get around positive, nourishing and encouraging people that have the capacity to support you and add to your state of harmony rather than deplete you and knock you off kilter.
Sometimes, you just have to release. We think the harmony in our lives has completely vanished, but we simply have to make room for the positive energy to return.