Yeah, that's me. All the way.
This past weekend I went on a retreat with the young adult's ministry from Brooklyn Tabernacle. Sidenote: It truthfully felt different this time around. When I went the first time back in 2014, I felt like I was a "baby Christian." I was still testing the waters and figuring out how to walk with God and indulge in amazing fellowship. I was also in a different season in my life.
This year, I went in with the intention just to strengthen my relationship with God. I enjoyed meeting new people, but gaining new friends wasn't on my agenda. I really wanted to feel the power of the Holy Spirit and give my attention to God that weekend.
However, I found myself on dock way leading into the lake, sitting with a few girls, who I either just met that weekend or knew for some time. We talked and talked about what we received so far for the weekend, what we felt about certain breakout sessions and just the progress of our own personal lives with Christ.
One of the girls mentioned her encounter with God during our Power Hour (1 hour of complete silence around the camp to re-connect). She talked about how she has all of these plans or goals that she sets for herself, begins to pursue and never completes.
I related so much to this. From my poetry to my blog, to magazine ideas to production, the list can go on. So many ideas have been given to me by God and have already begun to form. But God is not going to give us these ideas, create the plan in our mind and do whatever needs to be done for us. At some point, it's on us to put the work in.
See, I struggle with finishing what I start. I struggle because I bathe in self-doubt. I don't think that what God has clearly given to me is good enough. Now, is that really questioning who I am? Or, am I actually doubting the creator? I don't feel confident in what I put out once it hits the public eye. I lose all that I gained from the idea in the first place.
When the day comes, I don't want to face my God and say "Sorry, I know you equipped me, but, I just didn't see myself befitting enough." Instead, I want to say "I'm drained, I used all that you gave me and did my best."
So, what's next? Yes, we acknowledge our weaknesses. That's good. Right? But, it doesn't stop there.
We must learn to stay driven. Complete the course that God so carefully placed us to follow.
Challenge yourself. Matter of fact, I challenge you. I challenge you to Finish that goal of yours. I challenge you to complete your to-do list before the deadline is past due.
Don't allow anything externally to divide what God created you to do. You have a purpose. Your gifts are given to you to be used. Please, don't sit on what can be so amazing and can be used to help others.
What haven't you finished yet? I want to hold you accountable!