Something that will always be on my bucket list, is to travel the world. To be able to explore the different cultures, soak up the sun from all parts of the earth, meet people and just enjoy God's creation all around.
As I get older, the more and more I want to be able to accomplish this. A few years ago, I had the idea to travel somewhere by myself. Well, really, to move outside of NY by myself. I wanted to pack up my things and bon voyage off to California and just start fresh. Of course, I still want to do that. Recently, I started to think about a movie that I saw a few years ago and how much it had inspired me.
Eat, Pray, Love. Also, I mentioned on a few blog posts how I have been yearning to have my own E.P.L trip so that I can rediscover who I am, explore on my own, challenge myself and just have a break from everyday life.
Back in August, I finally made the decision to go away by myself. Initially, I didn't want to tell anyone until the day of, but of course, I had to reveal to my mother and a few close friends. Why? Because I started to get nervous that I was really going to be traveling alone.
I mean, who was going to take photos for me!
I booked my trip 1 month prior to going. Originally, I was supposed to do 1 day in China, 5 days in Thailand and 4 days in Bali, Indonesia. Everything doesn't go as we'd hope because reality hits. I was a bit overwhelmed with the back and forth plane rides and hotel switches, that I decided to save Bali for a trip in itself. Or rather, if I had more time to spend between two countries.
So, why did I really do it? What really pushed me to go on a Solo trip?
Mentally and emotionally, I had been drained. I stopped feeling like myself and I wanted to change. Deep down inside, I believed that when I went away, things would start to crumble and break apart and I no longer would have the same worries that I had prior to my trip. Some of my actions, things and people I was giving attention to, I believed deep down inside that it would all vanish and no longer receive my attention once I returned. I wanted to start fresh. That's one reason.
Another, I didn't want to have to deal with another person's ideas of how my trip should go. I had many friends saying that they wanted to go and as much as I'd love for them to have come, I knew that having them along for the ride would have made for a different type of trip. It was nothing personal. Actually, it was very personal.
After a few days on my trip, and a couple of chapters into The Alchemist, I realized that running away wasn't going to take me away from the reality that I faced. I learned that in order to defeat my battles, I had to face them head on. So many things that I have been facing aren't as challenging as I might believe them to be.
When we travel, embark on a journey, we are in search for something. Something that is outside of our normal day to day tasks. We are in search for part of ourselves that we know exists, but afraid to indulge and reveal it in the midst of "Normal" circumstances.
I relate explorations around the world to me exploring my own true self. Taking this journey didn't push me any further away from my reality. Instead, it helped me to view my reality from a different perspective.
I can't wait to take many more solo trips around the world!!
Here's a little message that I received from "The Alchemist"
There's a Shepard boy who had many sheep. He met a man who was a "King" and he told the boy a story about a shopkeeper and his son.
The boy went to a castle and was told to hold a spoon filled with oil and to go through the castle. However, when he came back from the castle, the man asked if he saw all of the splendid attributes within the castle. The boy didn't. He was so focused on not spilling the oil. He was given another chance to explore and actually observe the beauty surrounding him. This time, he went, saw the beauty and managed to spill all of the oil. Upon his return, the man told him that the secret of happiness was to see all the marvels of the world and never forget the drops of oil on the spoon. In whole, though he loves to travel, he should not forget about his flock. How do I relate? It's funny how I decided that coming to Thailand wouldn't change me or anything back home. Though I love to travel, going to another country, or even another state, isn't going to take away from who I am.
In whole, I went to Thailand by myself because sometimes it's okay to let go of the fear that was implemented in us as children. We should never be afraid to explore the world because of the unknown that is out there. Because of how far it is. Because we'd be lonely. I was asked SO many questions about my trip mainly because I was not only a solo traveler, but I am female. Let it go. Book a trip, don't ask anyone to go! Even if it's in a nearby state. Learn to let go of everything you were taught growing up and begin teaching yourself all over by exploring the world itself.