The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.
the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone
Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
This past weekend, I was confronted by these three words. Each which I've used countless times before in the past, and heard several times from others. A sudden realization hit me as I linked these three words together with the current space that I am in life.
If you're an avid reader of my blog, you would know that I've expressed my love and internal fire in regards to my faith and I've also been vulnerable enough to let you know that it has decreased from time to time.
For me, the church is a place where I find that line of transparency and I cross it. Letting go of all things: worry, doubt, uncertainty, fear, pride, insecurities. I'm either crying out to the Lord for the joy within me or expressing that I need more of Him and I'm not content with my abandonment to Him.
Either way, I find myself going to church, hearing a song during Praise & Worship that leads me to say "God, I surrender it all. I give you all of me. I can no longer do this without you." And for a while, that works. Until I find myself back at point A. Feeling empty, lost and frustrated that I've taken the lead into my own hands, again. So, I go again and I say "God, this time You have me. Take me as I am,etc.etc.etc." The list goes on. The keyword: again.
So many times, I have found that I have given up. I was willing to submit myself. I was willing to sacrifice and let go of things that hold me back from truly immersing myself in Jesus. I was willing to let Faith take the wheel. Yet, there's a point that I struggled with going forward.
When you submit yourself to something or someone, you are giving complete control to that said thing/person. Allowing them to lead, guide and direct your life in every aspect. One thing that I've learned recently, though often repeated, is that God truly never leaves you. It's not just a verse in the bible that says God will never leave you nor forsake you, but its reality.
However, for me, I've built a wall.
I've become so guarded by my wall; rejecting God from completely coming back in, that I've made accusations that God is no longer with me. But, as I took a step back and analyzed the situation, I learned that it was me pushing Gods love away. Why? Because I didn't feel like I deserved that Love that He provides. I felt like I wasn't where I was supposed to be and was given enough chances. I allowed people from the outside to distract me. I kept trying and would mess up, then give up. Many reasons. No reason that was worth me pushing God away.
But these three words.
Submission. Sacrifice. Faith
They now mean so much more to me than anything.
In the act of submission, you have to sacrifice your doubts, fears, insecurities, need to lead and be in control, worries and pride. You have to let go of ALL of which tears you down. Will you still have worries? Yes. Will you still have the desire to be in control when you feel like things are going downhill? Of course. Will you still have insecurities? Oh, no doubt. BUT, the important key here is to know that with submission comes a major need for faith.
We have to understand that when we submit to God, we are going to face trials. Heck, maybe more than ever before. Why? Because God wants to make sure that we truly trust Him. That we know He is in control. It's not a true sacrifice to submit yourself when you still want to be in control. It lacks the true definition of submission when you face trials and adversity and are ready to give up because of your lack of Faith in Gods work.
No matter what you are facing in your life today. No matter where you think you're supposed to be in comparison to where you are at now. Submit yourself, completely.
Every single day, remind yourself that you've submitted to someone who has the best interest for your life. Even if it means you've got to get dragged through the mud for a bit.
Take a bite out of that mud and keep it pushing!