Guess what, we all go through it. Break-ups, Make ups. I've always been a fan of love. Sometimes, being that way can get you so caught up that you lose track of everything else. Tis' is the season for breakups, right? Well, not really. The "cuffing" season is soon to begin.
Here are 6 basic tips to getting over that ex and finding your best YOU!
1. Eat---But, Eat Healthy
For a lot of people, after a break-up, you just want to eat! Whether it's tubs of ice-cream, large pies of dominoes all for your lonesome, or just plain ol' junk. Food can become the enemy of us. We try to replace that love that we once had and fill ourselves with something, anything! The purpose of eating healthy? You start to feel good, look good, get in shape and remind them what they've just lost, while you lose the excess, negative weight!
2. Find Peace
I remember when I first turned to Jesus. It was after a broken relationship, confusion, anger and pain built up inside of me. I had to find that place where I understood myself and understood my worth. For me, I was drawn to God. To build faith and trust in His plan for my life. It came effortlessly. You might have to find a faith, religion, hobby or a place inside of yourself where you realize that things happen in life--some of which we have no control over, but all of which we have the ability and control to handle it however we want.
Listen, so much of my past poems have come from a broken relationship. I remember performing this poem Phases for the first after I sat during an open mic and wrote it, inspired by an ex at the time. Willingly, I can admit that heartache and break-ups help me to be more creative. Even if it doesn't, learn to create more. Pick up a hobby. Painting. Writing. Yoga. Clay making. Something. The more you do to get your mind off the break-up, the more you'll realize what you actually love to do, more than just being in love.
4. Get off ( their ) Social Media
Can I admit something? I've found myself checking an exes twitter every other day, years after we broke up! It was crazy. It's unhealthy. If you really want to get over the relationship, or even if you have hope that maybe it'll be restored one day, you need to back. away. from. the. computer. and. phone. Your investigation days are over. What they're doing with their lives is no longer your concern. It's only an opening to a more painful time, watching as they move on without you.
5. Find Love Elsewhere
Now, don't be so quick to judge. We never know what is going on in someone's relationship. I've always been that person to judge and think, "Dang, Didn't she just get out of a relationship? How is she already in another one?"
Honestly. That was so unfair of me. I've witnessed someone get out of a relationship and a few months later, become engaged. Only God knows. So, don't be afraid to love again. Don't have the idea in your mind that maybe we'll get back together, so I shouldn't move on just yet.
It's not fair to you and it can be limiting . Most important, you need to find love in and for yourself all over. I've wanted to go on an Eat, Pray, Love trip so many times. I think it's absolutely important to re-discover yourself after a break-up. You need to take some time to understand the person you've become after that relationship and learn to now utilize this new YOU.
6. Accept the breakup
One thing that happened often with my last relationship, we reached a point where breaking up was our defense mechanism. It started to happen so often, that we overlooked what was actually happening. We were breaking up, right? So, why were we still hanging out, talking with one another and acting as if we were still together, but not actually claiming it, right? When you are ending a relationship, you have to be stern about it and accept that it's over. I'm a firm believer in witnessing God as he is allowing things to happen for a reason. Whether it be minor or major. If the relationship is meant to go on, in the future or near, you have to let things go and sit on God's timing. Accept it. It's over. They'll move on. So will you. Quit being sad!!
Few relationships later, several heartbreaks later, I've learned a lot about myself. So much so, that I've allowed my past relationships to interfere with any potential.
Love can either be a winning game, or a losing game.
The key here, though it's a break-up, it should not break you down.
Get back up, try again, starting with you!