What happens when you let go of yourself to care for everyone else? You love yourself more.
Weeks before boarding the plane to be on my way to Haiti, I faced so many obstacles. I found myself doubting whether I should be going on the trip or not. Worried and stressed myself out because I didn't think that I would come up with the funds for the trip. I felt empty and wasn't sure whether I would be able to pour out God's love onto someone else when I wasn't sure it was in me. Was going through a rough patch with my relationship. But the moment I stepped foot onto the plane, God said, "I have you."
Every worry, every stress, negative thought and bad energy left me. It was like I had to go through all of that prior to the trip as a reminder and as a blueprint. There are so many things that we experience in life that we allow to control our happiness and alter our trust in God. The day that all humankind understands the power we have within ourselves, life would be much greater. I bet on it.
So this experience was truly an eye opener for me. I've seen the depths of God's love up close that I never really allowed myself to enter in the past. I experienced God's presence in such a tremendous way; there's not an opportunity on earth that would ever allow me to question the Love God has for me and His children.
For starters, I was blessed with such an amazing team to go on this mission with. A group of 6 women, including myself, and one man. Each having different personalities, yet we were all so compatible and compassionate towards one another.
Each day we would wake up, the early bird usually got the worm on the roof (lol). Our days started with praise and worship as a team during breakfast time and prayer. These moments were what molded this trip together. To be able to share our love of God in such an intimate atmosphere. I can't sing, but that didn't stop me from joyfully praising my God. After this, we followed up with praise and worship with the patients downstairs.
Usually, having a language barrier causes distraction or confusion. Not this one! As we sat there, some of us with no knowledge of the Haitian language, it was still easily understood. As the patients praised God in creole, my heart felt the power flowing through the clinic.
For the past few months, I've been wanting to go on an Eat, Pray, Love trip. A trip that would be dedicated to me, my growth and understanding and loving myself more. I think most of us have seen the movie and just witnessing what she experienced, I said I need and want that. But the way God works, I went into this trip not knowing what to expect. I didn't know what my role would be. I didn't know if God would really use me. I just prayed. I went in knowing that prayer and love would get me through.
I found out not only that there is such a deep, pressing love in Haiti and a need for more love for the people and the country. But also, how to love God and know him more. It's so easy to become distracted in this fast paced living. Each morning, I was eager to wake up and smile because I was able to talk with God and be in his presence in the sense that I was aware. I walked around singing praise songs and just thanking Him for everything. Trusting Him for the day to go as He pleased.
Overall, it was an amazing trip. When everyone asks me, that's my response. Because to put into words the way God moved out in Haiti, is to take away from what He did.
A few days ago, I went to upload photos from my external hard-drive. Unfortunately, it crashed. I really wanted to share tons of photos and videos from Haiti, but at the moment, that is on hold. So, please pray for my hard-drive because my life is on there! lol.