This week, I thought I'd throw a curve ball and share some quotes or uplifting words to help with relationships. We have all been in a relationship at least once before. If not, don't rush it, but do look forward to the beauty that it spills. When I say beauty, I mean the good and the bad.
I'm that person who stalks relationship pages on IG with all of those cutesie sayings and photos. So, since Valentine's Day just passed, I figured some of you may still be in the lovey dovey stage--and others, well you might still be a little bitter.
Here goes nothing!
Before anything, understand that with any relationship you get into, the first relationship to always perfect is the one that you have with yourself. Love yourself first, always.
1. Learn to Let Love In
Some of us are so guarded. Afraid of the unknown, can't figure out how to let go of the past, worried that you will become weak if you let your walls down. Yes, everyone is afraid to be hurt. On the other hand, you have to face those fears ONE DAY! Don't let your guard down for everyone because that's how you are hurt easily. Instead, learn to let others love you. We don't really notice that when our guard is so high up, it's difficult to allow someone else love us because every shot they throw, you've got a wall that it bounces off from and hits them right in the face. Let love in, even start with loving yourself more. When you love yourself more, you know from jump what you will and will not accept.
2. Don't Add an Excuse to Your Apology
"I'm sorry for hurting you like that. But, you just did (blank) so it made me want to (blank)." We should be well over that stage, especially in our mid-20s and older, folks. When you apologize, be genuine. Usually when you add an excuse to the apology, you should prepare yourself for another argument or another apology because, depending on who you're dating, that will not sit well without a rebuttal. As the saying goes, "Admit when you're wrong, shut up when you're right?"
3. Be Supportive in EVERYTHING
Have you ever dated someone who cared nothing about what your dreams were? Or, that partner who never attended a family gathering that even you didn't want to go to but they figured they weren't really obligated to go to? What about when you were having an emotional break down--did they figure they should let you figure things out on your own, every.single.time? UGH! I feel for you if that has happened--or is happening now! Be supportive. Sometimes, your partner simply needs your comfort or your presence. Even a few simple words to let them know you're there. Even if they want to invent a rocket that launches to heaven, listen--support that! End of story.
4. Understand Their Love Language
I read this book "The 5 Love Languages" and there are different versions for it. For singles, For marriages, for self. This book helps you to *remember, *know, *understand your love language. It also allows you to figure out what your partners love language is. Like Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. This helps to improve your relationship because there may be something you're doing and wondering why your partner doesn't absorb it how you would; it just might not be their language to express heavy gratitude. Try reading the book or taking the test Here. I'm more of a Quality Time & Words of Affirmation person.
5. Obviously, Communicate.
I don't know how often I've witnessed people in relationships where they were afraid to communicate. Why? You can't share your life with someone and be afraid of how they're going to react towards your feelings. This is the most important key to a successful relationship. Work on different ways to communicate if it's not your special skill. Email. Handwritten letters. Practice voice-notes. Play games that lead to communicating. Something! Never let things sink so deep in you that you begin to drown in your thoughts. Good or bad, communicate it!
Again, I'm not a relationship expert and I'm sure there are other things to remember when dating. So, keep that in mind and if there's anything else, share it with me!
Sidenote: Do fun stuff! Try new and different things with your mate. Throw some excitement in there.