Am I Boring ?

Am I a boring person?
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who succeed and have long term, everlasting relationships, and then those who are pretty much professionals at failed relationships. 

Two people get to know one another because something about the individual intrigued the other. We're all familiar with that situation, assuming. Check Yes or No or Maybe if you want to date me. Man that's so old school, when was the last time someone used that tactic on you ? I mean, honestly, it may still work on some folks. 

Anyway, for many reasons relationships can succeed or fail. People grow and move on. Others move on because they've been cheated on. Differences. So many reasons. 

I was sitting on the train heading to school and I began to think about my current relationship and past failed relationships. This is my blog right? So, I can get transparent, right? Well, my relationship now is great. I'm in a happy place with him as a couple. But, as an individual, sometimes I question many things and eventually bring it into the relationship. Sometimes he irritates me and many times I annoy his entire life. We have good days, we have great days and then we have bad days that almost seem as if we're on the verge of parting ways. ( side note: he's mine forever and ever and ever ). Many times I will have moments where my mind plays games with me and I think:

Saphia.  Saph. Home girllll, you're so boring. You're not keeping him entertained enough. You're going to lose him. Why are you so boring? You're even boring with friends that's why you're always so secluded. Nobody enjoys your company. Boring boring boring.

Honestly, the mind is a powerful weapon. I had to learn that it was the attack of the enemy saying these things to me. Although it is still very difficult to surpass those thoughts, I make way. Let me be great !

But, as I was on this train ride I thought again " Am I boring?" and then suddenly it flipped and God said 

What about asking yourself if you are Godly, if you portray an image of Christ ? 

What? I'm like, umm, Godly? I mean... You know, like, I pray to you, I talk to you, I read my devotionals and bible and all'lat . Like, that makes me Godly.... Right ?

Quickly, He said but you're so concerned about being entertainment for others, friends and boyfriends, that you forget you do not have to please them. I am the one for you to please. I place people in your life and remove those who do not belong. Let me tell you, you are not boring. You are amazing and you are my creation. Those who do not like, have a problem with me. 

I never really looked at it that way. But, being stubborn I still question it wondering what's the comparison between being godly and boring. How does that even make sense?!

Aside from the difficulty in not understanding God sometimes and what He decides to do, I realized that He had a purpose in mentioning that to me. 

When you try being so perfect, you are too concerned with you. Yet, when you practice the ways of Christ, it becomes less of you and more of Christ. I know that God didn't create me to diminish my existence, but if I could be a representation of the image of Him, then I wouldn't need to focus on what people like about my worldly projection that is purely about me.

I was handed the truth! And at the end of it all, I'll leave you with this quote:

"Beauty about living your life, and being happy with yourself inside and out, and not worrying about what people think of you."




Saphia Louise