Did You Mean, Confident ?
I know, you're probably wondering what is Saphia talking about ? Well, it would have taken the fun out of things if I didn't start my post with a weird opening. So, you're welcome.
Some time ago, I was called the "conceited" girl in Junior High school. I was the girl who was reserved, but also knew how to have fun. Unfortunately to some, my reserved side had the upper hand against my fun side, "apparently". After indirectly hearing this from a few people, I took a moment to ask someone whom I considered a close friend to voice their honest opinion. Let me tell you, it was so not what I was expecting..
"I mean, in a way yeah. Because, you're not like the other girls who are wild and do things for attention. You just get the attention. Most of the time you're to yourself. So, I would say that you're a little conceited "
Wow. A little secret-- I went home that day and cried to my mother. Conceited? Me? Why would or should I have been? I don't want anyone to feel that way about me ! I couldn't have anyone feel this way. That was my mindset. Worrying about what others thought and how my actions would affect them. Thank God that we eventually grow out of certain seasons in our lives.
Because of that very day, I carried this heavy weight on my shoulder. I convinced myself that I no longer cared what people thought about me. People who don't truly know me, don't know me at all. They could assume. They could swear on who I was. They can say whatever they wanted about me. If they thought I was conceited, I would just let them know as my mother always told me to say:
As humans, I believe that most of our belief comes from convincing and persuading .The more you convince yourself of something, the more likely you are to naturally believe it. So for a while I thought that I might have been conceited, but I just couldn't tell. For that reason, I began to humble myself ridiculously. I became more shy than I ever was. I became timid. I became full of fear. Fear of the unknown is the greatest fear. I said unknown because I was afraid of being this conceited person that everyone thought that I was, but oddly enough I never met her personally.
I allowed others to persuade me and change who I *never* was.
Now that I am older and slightly wiser, I would go back to my teenage self and ask her: Well, are you sure that they didn't mean to say Confident? And well, if that's not what they meant, who cares!!
We need to be confident in all things. In ourselves. In our beliefs. In who we want to become. In what we do and love. In all things. There is no one and no thing that can stand in your way when you are confident.
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.