When Jesus Says Yes
As the days have drawn closer to the production, attacks from myself, for potentially losing my job, inner feelings of doubt and lack of motivation too draws near. Lately I have felt as if my faith is slowly disappearing. As much as I may say that I need to work on trusting God, it has just felt like the words and thoughts are being released, but the actual feelings and actions are stagnant. I have been feeling as if I’m losing my personal self in-God. My outer life is good as it can be. I have friends. I have family. I have life. And I have love. What I don’t have, is a job that I love. A secure job. A valuable job. A job that makes me feel worthy. I’m grateful I have a job, nonetheless. But, I do believe that God has given us talents and abilities and none of which are being utilized at this position makes me think, am I doing enough ? Am I doing what God has placed me here to do or am I just being “comfortable” ? Which also leads to a battle of: why are you complaining that you want something but you’re not doing what you need in this current season to get to the next ? But, what am I supposed to do ? Why am I so lost ? I’m no longer in school and to be honest, I’m not exactly sure what’s going to take place next semester. These minor things are all adding together and so much more is just making my faith and trust that much harder to keep ignited.