I want to talk with you forever . I want every word you've ever said to constantly replay in my mind and the words you write on paper to be a script I must always remember.
I had a thought. You find it hard to read me, or at least you did. (Not sure how much that percentage is now) But, I think I hold up a wall when I'm unsure about my feelings, but I also build this titanium wall when I AM sure of them. I fear getting too attached. For some reason, I feel like it' okay to be expressive with you, but I don't know. I don't want you to be like "okay, I'm over her." Lol, No but seriously. I have to work on that. I remember one day in the car you said to me, "I be wanting to hit you up more-or speak to you but I don't want you thinking like "Oh, he needs to fall back" or something like that. I asked you if you wanted to speak to me more, you said yes, so we made that happen. My point is, sometimes I want to just tell you that I miss you or that I'm thinking about you, but I tell myself to fall back. it's not that I'm not comfortable telling you it, but I really do not know exactly what it is.
I guess I'll always make you feel loved and wanted. Just warn me at ANY time if I make you feel too loved. Don't worry, I won't love you more than I love God, because I know my limit and have learned not to EVER do that again.
I want to learn how to play my guitar. It's a shame that I look up at it and it's really hanging up on my wall. As if I'm some retired rock star. That was funny. Didn't see that joke coming. My pen is running out. You should have let me have that pen in church. Okay. I love you. I miss you.
P.S Tell me what you think of when you can't fall asleep at night.
July 20, 2014
Anyuway, we spent the entire day together... Ihop, XChange 4:13 BBQ, Calvary softball game, QT with my parents and taking you and your mother out for dinner. I hope she likes me. . . I know she says she does, but I just hope she knows that I will treat you like a "Princess" and cater to your every need and want. At the same time, I'm "IMPERFECT" lol. So I may not be everything she ever imagined for you but... Hopefully I'm everything in a man that God wants for you... She's gorgeous as well "she get it from her momma" lol
I should be sleep right now... you stopped responding so I know you KO'd. Anyway for the record I knew for a fact I wanted to be with you since the moment I ordered them frogs. #Random So when I tell you I love you, I really hope you believe me. Besides meals (unless I'm with you) you're pretty much in all my prayers. I'm sooooooooooooooooooO! thankful that Abba blessed me beyond belief with you in my life. Although we were UN-OFISHELLY dating before, I pray 7/12/14 goes down in history. P.S. I Love You.; The Notebook and any other love story got nothing on what God has in store for us!( no inventory) lmao get it? hahaha corny me!
Anyway I'm going to KO. Goodnight I love you Chunkzy
I love you more than I did yesterday.
P.S When I can't sleep, I think about what Heaven will be like, as well as my knicks! lol :)
Date: October 10, 2014